Kin Keihan Times

Written XII-XXIV-MMIX

Before anything else, I would like to greet each and everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Chapter Four

It was a cold night

I need someone to cheer me up in this cold, lonely night

I have a family

But I need a loving family…

Even though I am in darkness

I have a friend who will cheer me up

But he was frail… He was dying…

They need to save him… I don’t want to let go of him yet

I couldn’t bear seeing my friend die and leave me alone in this cruel world

Please, save my friend

He’s my treasure… A true friend of mine

C. K. was currently writing a poem. Beside him was his Grandfather Terrence. His grandfather could see the sadness in his face, and that he decided to comfort him, the thing that his parents never does.

It was three days later and C. K. was having a quiet moment in the garden, thinking of his friend. As soon as he was beginning to write his next journal entry, a phone call surprised him. He immediately jumped to his feet and rushed to the phone to answer it.

“Hello, Terrence Crouwe’s residence. Who’s on the line please?” C. K. said on the phone. He was trembling in fear as he heard a familiar voice on the line.

“Is this Keinoulf?” It was Mr. Charnleod, his voice was calm.

“Yes it is…”

“Keinoulf, sorry if I surprised you with the call. But your friend Sedge…”

C. K. suddenly froze in horror. “Sedge… What happened to Sedge?”

A matter of silence followed.

“Sir, what happened to Sedge?”

Mr. Charnleod sighed heavily. “Sedge was rushed to the hospital. He… he had a heart attack.”

As soon as he heard the bad news, he dropped the receiver and fall to his knees. Seconds later, he was so shocked that he wanted to cry.

His grandfather had returned from the orchard with a basket of peaches. He saw his grandson in the state of shock. “Is something happened?”

C. K. nodded. “It’s my friend Sedge…”

“What happened?” his grandfather asked, concerned of what his grandson would say.

“He… he had a heart attack,” C. K. said as tears fall slowly down his cheeks. “At any moment, he might… he might die…”

“Oh dear,” his grandfather said. “C’mon Kei, you need to go to the hospital. I’ll drive you there.”

Going to the hospital, C. K. was worried for Sedge who then was fine by the time he reached his ward. If not for the quick act of bringing his friend to the hospital, he would be dead.

Sedge was a bit unconscious, so he won’t be able to talk to his friend for now. C. K. went out of the hospital room so that he could recover fast.

Outside the hospital room is Mr. Charnleod, in his corporate attire, still worrying about his son. So does the wife and some of Sedge’s siblings. As soon as C. K. faced the family, they give him a weak smile.

“You need not to worry Kei,” Mr. Charnleod said. “Sedge’s fine. But we’re still worried so he might as well undergo heart surgery.”

In silence, C. K. nodded.

“By the way, your parents must be worried. They didn’t see you for quite a while…”

C. K. gave him a quick nod as he turned around to see his parents. They don’t seem to be upset, but they didn’t seem to be worried either.

“Where had you been?” Mrs. Murchow asked. “We’re so worried about not seeing you for a few days.”

“I’m sorry,” C. K. said as he walked out of the hospital.

Holding his valuable possession, the journal, he was trying to shake the wistfulness away so that he could concentrate better on his plans… visiting his friend… writing on his journal… and trying to cheer himself up.

A moment later, Mr. Murchow sat down beside his son. “Kei, why would you need to do that, without letting us know about it?”

But C. K. looked away. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I’m sorry… But you see…”

C. K. looked fiercely at his father. “From now on, what my plans are is entirely out of yours and mom’s business.”

“I’m really sorry. Don’t worry, we will not interfere your life as you’d like.”

With a disappointed look, his father stood up and walked away.

[To Be Continued]

[Written XII-XIV-MMIX]

It’s me Keihancarl once again, and finally I am back to writing articles.

Twelve months… From January to December, there’s a lot of good things happened (and sometimes down moments too). Whenever it’s this month or it’s that month, I’ll always make sure that everything would be fine for a fine moment.

January: The Start Of A New Year

January is the start of a new year, as most people say. This is the time to start over, to plan something for the rest of the year, or maybe start making a change to yourself or to your life.

For me, that’s the time that I’ll be looking forward to a better summer vacation that is a few months away. There are some things to enjoy, like a walk in the park or enjoying a stay at the fanciest places. The weather is a little bit colder so you need to warm up just in case you can’t stand the chill.

February: The Season Of Hearts

Love is on the way… yup, it’s February.

It’s the season where you can give flowers or chocolates to the one you love. Of course, it is the time to find love.

It’s only a few months to a relaxing summer, yet better prepare for a hotter season… dry and sunny!

March: Time To Get Busy

From projects to tests, class requirements to graduations… I can say that March is the time to be real busy. With so many things to do, it does gonna be one relaxing moment after all these tasks.

A month to welcome the upcoming summer… After all, it’s gonna be fun!

To be continued…

Written X-XXVII-MMIX

Chapter Three

For the whole afternoon, C. K. only watched the birds flying on the green fields. He was weeping silently and he doesn’t want anyone to see him crying, especially his best friend Sedge.

All C. K. wants was to be loved by the family. But even his wish might not be that possible, for his parents don’t care about changing their ways. And even though they started to love him, he’s still resorted to taking his own life sooner or later because of depression.

He will try. He’s certain that they’ll change anyway.

***

“Did you tell anyone in your family about your problems?” Sedge asked on the phone.

“I did, but they still ignored me. I hate the thought of asking them for help for they certainly don’t want to help me.”

“What are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know.”

Sedge sighed a bit. “But at least you wrote in your journal.”

“I always write in my journal, but my damn brother had already read it and that caused the fight between us. I never trust him anyway.”

“Poor Keinoulf… But you know, at least you’re not living in bandages and crutches. But why would he do that, for God’s sake?”

“He must have noticed that I was hiding something. So he investigated the whole matter.”

A long silence followed. C. K. sighed heavily and took a deep breath.

“I don’t know, but I guess I’ll have to deal with it. Afterwards, I’ll try to get my journal back. It was placed somewhere in my brother’s room.”

“Just try to be cautious about it,” Sedge said as he hung up.

***

C. K. waited for the right moment before he could sneak inside his brother’s room to get his journal back. He was scared and his heart skipped as soon as his brother went out of his room and went down, until he was absolutely out of his sight.

He began searching for his journal, and luckily he had found it and sneaked it out of the room. As soon as he successfully retrieved his journal back, he set off to his friend Sedge’s house and stayed for the night.

Still clutching the journal, he was sweating profusely and exhausted as he pressed the doorbell. Sedge’s father opened the gate.

“Why, it’s you Keinoulf. Please come in,” Sedge’s father said, letting him in.

“Thanks Mr. Charnleod,” he said.

“But it is already late. Do your parents know where you are?”

“Don’t worry sir… I’m sure they’ll know. Besides, they don’t care much about me,” he lied.

“Well please do come in. I’m sure my son Sedge would be glad to see you,” Mr. Charnleod smiled at him as they went inside.

The family were having their dinner that time. C. K. decided to wait in the living room but the Charnleods invited him to have dinner with them.

“Tell me something,” Mrs. Charnleod said calmly. “Do you still have a hard time with your family?”

At this point, C. K. lowered his head down and then nodded a bit. “Yes, I still have a hard time with my family…”

“I’m sorry…” Mrs. Charnleod sincerely said. “Oh, poor child… Is there anything we can help?”

C. K. shook his head and smiled a bit. “I’m afraid there’s nothing, but thanks for your concern anyway.”

Mr. Charnleod nodded a bit. “Do you want to stay here for the night?”

Sedge was waiting excitedly for his friend’s answer.

“Sure, thanks Mr. Charnleod.”

After dinner, Sedge and C. K. were at the small library. They were talking in hushed tones, as they don’t want the family to know about what they’ve talked about.

“So you got your journal back?”

“Yup… And I’m in it for tonight so that’s why I’m staying…”

Sedge sighed a bit. “You know what… I think there’s something going on with your life. You have a family but then they don’t love you. You have a brother, but he hated you right from the start. And you have a home, but then the happiness of a sweet home was taken away. And then one day, I would find out that something bad happened to you.”

“I don’t know Sedge,” C. K. said wistfully. “I don’t know what to do with my life. The journal I was holding, the one containing my dark secrets of the past, is putting me in danger. My life started to fall apart, and now… my brother might kill me for sneaking inside his room. He beat me up twice, so I think the home I was living was full of hazards. I had lost a place in my home. And I don’t know where I am going to live once I got thrown out of the house.”

A moment of silence followed. “So what are you going to do?”

“I know…” C. K. said. “I’m going to stay at my grandfather’s house. He’s far superior to my parents and he is my only dear guardian.”

Sedge nodded, he agreed with C. K.’s suggestion to himself. “That would be perfect. But are you sure you’re gonna do this?”

C. K. nodded. “I am. And they wouldn’t even lay a finger on me, especially in front of my grandfather. That’s for sure.”

[To be continued]

Written IX-XIII-MMIX

Chapter Two

C. K. was right beside the window inside his room, looking at the dark, moonlit sky.

He was thinking of his friend Sedge, and all night he was desperately heartbroken imagining himself in his friend’s place. As soon as he stopped crying, he went inside the bathroom and calmed himself before going to sleep.

***

The next morning, Sedge was sitting in his wooden-framed hammock at the balcony. He was wondering what had happened to his friend C. K.

Not wanting to worry, Sedge asks his sister Alice to get him off the hammock and place him in his wheelchair. Then he would come to the phone and call him up.

***

C. K. was up and gloomy a few minutes after he woke up. But a phone call from Sedge enlightened him so he was a bit less despondent than earlier.

He didn’t bother talk to anyone in the family. He just sat in his place on the table, eat his breakfast and leave the table as soon as he’s done. His parents must have noticed it, because they started to worry.

He took a quick shower and changed into his school uniform. Afterwards, he picked up his backpack and left the house early, wearing a sad expression in his face.

He passed by Sedge’s house first, to make sure that his friend’s okay.

“Hello Sedge,” C. K. greeted.

“Hello Keinoulf,” Sedge greeted, smiling. “Are you okay?”

C. K. nodded and smiled at his friend.

Soon, they found themselves on the trail, going to school. C. K. was pushing Sedge’s wheelchair, and Sedge was reading a book.

“I don’t know… but I find myself in this situation,” C. K. said as he almost cried. “That night, I was about to end it all. The other night, I thought of jump off the building. My life is ruined… totally ruined.”

Sedge was silent for a while. “Is something… happened?”

“My brother called me stupid, idiot, anything he could say. I was doing my homework and he would just barge in and say ‘Hey you, get me something this, something that’… I hate him.”

“But why hate him?” Sedge asked.

“It’s because he was actually a numb. How could he done such a thing to a younger brother?” C. K. said as he stopped pushing the wheelchair.

“Maybe that’s the reason why you are screwed up. He really should never do that.”

“And my parents don’t even scold my brother for that. They’re cruel!”

Sedge felt sorry for C. K. for what happened to him. “C’mon Keinoulf, we had to reach the school early so that we’re not be late.”

C. K. nodded as they went on their way.

[To be continued]

Written IX-XI-MMIX

Note: Starting this post, The KKT Specials would be now called The KCOX Project and “Just Three Wishes” would be the first novella-length project in which I would be very much delighted to work in this story until the last part.

Chapter One

Two friends… two situations… When one succumbed to a fatal disease, one almost took his own life due to too much misery.

***

Since childhood, they had become friends. Later on, their friendship had grown to being best friends, one of the best things they had in a long run…

Sedge Charnleod came from a loving family. He was the youngest in the family, and he was indeed a very bright boy, an honorable student. But behind these good things he has, he was dealing with a heart disease that had prevented him from doing what he wants… running along the riverside, playing soccer with his classmates and hanging out too much. Most of the time, he would spend his time inside the room or in the wooden-framed hammock outside the house, either reading a book or taking a nap.

Carl Keinoulf Murchow’s life is a different story, however. He came from a not-so-loving family, and he feels like he was alone in the world… until he met Sedge. He may be quite stupid, but he was kind. Most of the time, he would rather think of death for he always thought that his life’s coming to an end. It was Sedge who taught him to think positive, and his life brightened up a bit.

Two friends had their one wish… that no matter what happens to them, they’ll always remain best friends forever. Even though it is heartbreaking for C. K. to lose his best friend and surviving from a suicide attempt, he is determined that he and Sedge will see each other soon. Sedge’s family will always remain close to C. K., so does his family.

***

One afternoon, Sedge and C. K. were at the riverside, gazing at the glowing red sky. They’re both thirteen, but then they look more of a grown-up.

“Hey,” Sedge said with a weak smile.

“What is it,” C. K. asked.

“If ever I’m dying of a heart attack, will you be lonely?”

C. K. hesitated. “Of course… You’re the only person I can hang out with, and no one else.”

Sedge nodded a bit. “I see that you’re always alone…”

C. K. smiled a bit. “It’s true. My parents don’t love me. So does my brother. He was given importance than I do.”

“Sorry ’bout that,” Sedge said. “Why don’t you come to our house for dinner?”

“Sure, I’d love to,” C. K. said. “Besides, they don’t care about me.”

“But they do care about you. One time they had found you lying down and badly injured, they seem to worry a lot.”

“That was only for a week. Afterwards, it’s back to normal. Back to usual. This goes on for long.”

Sedge sighed, but C. K.’s right. If he was loved by the family, then he wouldn’t be that sad and lonely.

“Well, I’m sorry about saying such things. In fact, I really want my parents to love me… but… but…”

As soon as he said it, C. K. broke into tears and wasn’t able to control his emotions. Sedge patted his friend’s shoulder.

“It’s all right Keinoulf, you’ll be fine soon enough…”

Now I know, C. K. told himself, that I am leading a miserable life. And I’m so glad Sedge is here to cheer me up.

[To be continued]

Written VI-XX-MMIX

Chapter Three

Finally… the camp! Today is the best time for camping out and Caleb had already recovered from his illness. With everything’s all set, we set off to the opposite side of the lake.

***

It was late afternoon and the sun’s going down. There are five of us in the camp, Caleb, Oliver and I. The two other boys were Isaac and Deion. Both of them are good in camping (they are actually boy scouts, no wonder they’re good).

We set up the tent and we enjoyed a night of outdoor fun. We all had fun sharing stories and fishing down the lake, and I seem to enjoy it.

“By the way, when could we do this again?” Isaac asked.

“Well, I guess we must do this often. I think nature doesn’t do re-runs though.”

“You’re right,” Isaac said.

“It’s only a few weeks before the class starts,” I said, gazing at the night sky. “I’m sure it’s going to be a challenging one.”

“You sure are worried,” Caleb said.

“Sort of,” I said as I look down at them.

“Hey, the three of you,” Oliver said, smiling at them. “It’s gonna be a wonderful sight. Look!”

All of us looked up to the sky. I mustn’t have noticed though, the sky was full of stars.

Deion decided to make some bonfire. The rest of us helped him gather some wood.

“These could make good fire,” Deion said. “I need help setting up the bonfire so that we could have a warm camping night.”

“Sure,” I said as I start arranging the wood to make bonfire. Meanwhile, the others were looking for wild berries and catching a lot of fishes for the campfire dinner.

The night is sure full of fun. Well, I hope everything would be fine for the rest of the night. And the camp ends at the near dawn.

***

Three days later, I was sitting at the lakeside, watching the leaves rustling through the light breeze. It’s nearing the end of summer, and I was feeling a bit sad.

I looked around to see if there are wild berries, but all I see are unripe ones. I shrugged as I got up and went home.

I looked at the calendar. It’s the last week of May, and Yoichi and Errol were finally home… and the big news is their team won the game. I was so delighted for making me feel proud of them. And my sister Sandy… well she’s at the kitchen preparing brunch with my mom.

Yup, that’s where the unusual story ends. And I’m going to look forward for the next unusual summer.

THE END

Written VI-XXIII-MMIX

Silence + Darkness = Falling Apart

Silence plus darkness is equal to falling apart. Just a look at that person, he seem to be fine. But deep inside, he was totally stuck in depression. Just a look at his smile doesn’t mean that he was entirely happy. That smile could be something else. He seem to be together with the crowd, but the truth is no one wants to hang out with him. That person, lost in depression, suddenly went speechless. He doesn’t force himself to speak, he accepted the fact that he was living in silence. Without the knowledge of the others, he started to fall apart.

***

“Hi, how are you,” a friend asked.

He didn’t say something. He didn’t even look at his friend.

“Is there something wrong?”

He just shrugged.

“Why? What’s the matter?”

He didn’t answer for the third time. He sighed heavily as his friend suddenly got mad that he had almost yell at him.

“Speak up! Are you trying to be snobbish or are you simply an ignorant?”

He got up and left without answering his friend’s question. He left a note and it says…

I’m okay, please don’t bother. I don’t wish to have a talk, that’s all.

***

Since fourth grade, I was beginning to experience depression. Aside from it’s dull and boring, it could actually encourage a person to accept it and live with it. I’m one of them, though I’m trying to be as cheerful as I can.

That time (it’s actually present in some blog entries, if you had read them), my classmates are hanging out with everyone except me and my bestfriend. Well, that seem to be fine but in the later years (fifth and sixth grade), they just start taunting me and that makes me feel mad at the slightest. And I think I might had regretted it. Those were the darkest days in the chapter of my life. I finally decided to call my fourth grade as the season of depression, my fifth grade as the season of nightmare and my sixth grade as the season of misery (that is just my opinion, right?)… And it continued up to my senior high.

I always feel sorry for those who were living their lives in complete silence and darkness, and some of them decided to end it all. Even I thought of slashing my wrist just to end my depression–but I can’t (if I could, then I should have done it when I was in fourth, fifth or sixth grade and the family stopped loving me but then I realize that it’s better to accept it and go on with it). Opting out of silence and darkness could help, if possible.

I don’t know but I’m on my way to recovery. In a few years time, I am back to my old self.

Note: I don’t know if I am an idiot or something but if you were in my place would you do it (ending it all)? Certainly not.

There’s nothing wrong in being silent and depression can go away. You have to live with it. Write your heart out. I’m planning to keep a journal soon (-_-’)

Comments are freely welcomed at kinkeihanxxist@ymail.com or through my friendster profile at www.friendster.com/caixhelios

Written V-XXIV-MMIX

The sun, so hot and bright

Pleases my heart’s delight

It makes me happy, oh so dearly

The sun shines my day pleasantly

The thunderstorm, so scary and violent

So much for a heart’s discouragement

It makes me sad, angry and mad

What a day, turning my life so bad

As A Sun

A warm and sunny day is a perfect day to relax, go for a walk or enjoying the outdoors. Nothing could beat this wonderful day above all.

As a sun, I will only shine if I am in such a good mood… if I am happy and contended. A bright sunny day would make every people happy and so do I.

As A Thunderstorm

A thunderstorm is a dark, scary disaster that could put a person (alone in an open field) at risk. Those who were stricken by lightning would either survive or not. That’s why I hate thunderstorm for it could ruin my day.

As a thunderstorm, I would let out a rumble of lightning if I am mad, angry and violent. That may explain how serious I become when I got mad, and I won’t even smile either.

Sun… Thunderstorm… Do They Sometimes Mix?

I don’t know. But when it comes to them as characteristics, I guess they mix. Well, you’ll never know when anger might build up or when you’ll end up laughing from a hard day’s trouble.

His Life As The Sun And The Thunderstorm

My characteristic in life is like the bright sun and the violent thunder. The bright sun will only shine if I’m happy, contented, glad and in a good mood. The violent thunder will only strike if I’m angry, wild and sad. The bright sun and the violent thunder represent each mood… good and bad respectively.

That depends on the situation… whether if I’m stressed, overjoyed, overwhelmed, calmed, or whatever. But then, I rarely got mad and if ever I did, well that is just a bit or a little matter.

Carl Says:

Well, while I was looking for something to get rid of, I noticed a pile of everything… old school journals, artworks and brochures… school projects… just everything. And then I noticed this artwork when I was in 4^th year high, I think that was from the fourth grading. At first I wonder… why the sun and the thunderstorm? (The artwork, I think, focuses on expressing yourself… I couldn’t remember a thing!) Someone might have noticed… I was shining bright when I was happy just like the sun. I was letting out a jolt of anger when I was totally mad and violent just like the thunderstorm. Notice the sun and the thunderstorm, and try comparing yourself to these two things in season (please note that it always depends on their attitudes or personalities).

Written V-XII-MMIX

On this special day

We present to you

This special poem

To say… how much we love you

And how important you are to our lives

You have worked so hard

To raise us

To teach us

To guide us

You are the greatest inspiration

You make us realize how hard it is being a mom

You’ve work so hard

You never cease to care for us

And for this day

We wanted to say

Thank you for being a good mom

For every good moments we had

In return, we promise

That we will always take care of you

The way you care for us

We will be good and humble

And to greet you…

A happy mother’s day to you, my dear mom!

Written V-VII-MMIX

As the lonely summer begins

A young boy would have chosen to live in darkness

In a room filled with sadness

He tries to recapture the memory of the incident

That he consider as a painful tragedy

Alone, he must decide

Would he choose to live or would he choose to die

Just for the sake of his life…

-From Wasted Chances [Part Two]

Allandra felt hurt a few days after Elliot had departed. One mid-summer day, she thought of writing him a poem and decided to tie it in a white balloon, hoping that he in heaven will read her message. This is what the poem says:

There’s really no fun saying a last goodbye

I didn’t know that you had left

Without even telling me

How could you have ever done it?

Why do you have to do it?

You still had your life but you lose it

You decided to took your own life

And I later knew that you already died…

Why, what is going on in here?

I mean, why you have to lose hope

Just like the others who are frustrated and mad

You let yourself down

And I got mad for what you’ve done to yourself

But then, it’s best for you to go

To fly to where you can find

And have your family back

In a place where all people reunite

Well, how are you? Are you fine?

Are you glad now that you’ve found them?

I’m so glad you did… I’m happy for you

And I’m sad ’cause you’re no longer here

You are now a memory to me

You are now a part of my life…

All my life, I’ve waited for the moment

Until we meet again… in the blue yonder…

If you enjoyed reading this entry or any of the past entries starting from the official launch, please consider leaving a comment. Remember that every comment is a big help of appreciating my work and we will appreciate your response!

-kcox